|
2002-04-04 || 10:50 a.m. || sleep disorder || i have not been able to sleep this week. and i can always always always sleep. like the dead. to the point that it drove m crazy when we were living together because it would take him hours, it was a delicate process, and i would lay my head on my pillow and be out instantly. but. this week. i fall asleep and wake up, fall asleep and wake up and walk around in the dark, get a glass of water, calculate to the minute how much longer i have until the alarm goes off. at t-minus two hours and twenty-seven minutes meow meow is absolutely thrilled, sitting inches away, pawing at my face. 'it's four-thirty and we're both up! let's have a party!' she says, and runs to the kitchen to grab two pbrs from the refrigerator. she is always right. there. at the ready. waiting impatiently for my eyelids to stop fluttering in rem state, giving up and pawing at them until i open one eye and turn over. she bats at the blinds knowing it pisses me off and i sit up and pet her and try to get her under the covers away from my face and away from the goddamn blinds. there is something very very lonely about wandering around your wee apartment in the dark at night. silence and all your possessions, asleep. walking into the kitchen and deciding against turning on the light (pretending the light hadn't burned out already) for the sake of your sleepy eyes. cracking the ice tray against the counter and listening to that sound bounce off dark walls and appliances. i thank my lucky stars the apartment's not haunted. last night in the hallway i thought about ghosts briefly, and called out meow's name just so that any undetected ghosts would know i wasn't alone. even though it's just me and the goddamn manic insomniac cat. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |