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2002-12-06 || 1:45 p.m. || i can't even remember what she said. She. || i heard a voice. i heard a voice. and granted, it wasn't saying anything scandalous, anything incendiary, but i heard it there behind your voice muffled by wire and oakland shoddy telephone poles and it was belonging to a lady and whatever the circumstance, whatever eighteen-hundred fifty-three reasons not to be absolutely alarmed, my heart rose up and i swallowed it and now it's sitting there ticking away in my stomach like the clock in the belly of that enormous crocodile. i understand it's not supposed to matter anymore but i have never before so clearly imagined a girl (not me) in your apartment. and it's a good thing you took down all the things i made you, isn't it? i just wish i could call to arms all the leftover skin cells, the strands of hair and toiletries, maybe a pair of forgotten underwear, and quickly assemble a zombie with red-ish hair and that cowboy shirt i lost sometime back to figure out what's going on and cause hell if need be. and i know it's going to happen some-day, but it doesn't make it any more bearable. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |