2003-05-20 || 3:50 p.m.

|| something like this: ||

the events that took place were not properly recorded, on film or cassette tape or otherwise, so you'll have to take my word for it. san francisco: tucking away drink tickets to redeem at the most inopportune times, the matter of spilling drunken bleeding heart all over ex-boyfriend's best friend, getting to see sir tony in real life fashion, being subjected to very un-nice looks from the mean ladies while getting nice luke-time during old roommate's jeff's sassy set, having the distinct sensation that 1997 had folded itself daintily over 2003 to make everyone in the vicinity rather confused and dizzy. cross-country adventure crammed into one state lengthwise: willie nelson over and over and the almighty fight over the van polaroids (owen me lauren gabe, all bespectacled and pseudo-sullen). wrong turn after wrong turn and keeping each other awake in julie's haunted house. los angeles: rocking the all-access wristband, feeling decidedly square but sneaking trips backstage for fruit and beer anyway, marveling at the proliferation of effing high heels and jeans (some done not so well, surprisingly), hoping to spy miss kelly osbourne if not jack. getting to hang on to faraway best friend neenay for dear life, whispering the stories back and forth about the singer and drummer and the house we all lived in and the movies we filmed and various college party scandal. too many trips to the omelette & waffle in san pedro. the museum of jurassic technology blowing our minds to the point of tears. driving along venice boulevard in the van and respective sunglasses trying our best to navigate and not let burning cigarettes fly back into the car. pomona: a small adventure to randy's records while owen sound checked: luke knocking on the door marked closed to find the nicest man and dog and eighteen billion forty-fives. declining offers of sodas and general hanging out while flipping and flipping past so many records. a few young kids circling the closed sign and venturing in and it kind of felt like 'a hard day's night' in slow motion, teen girls following luke and gabe around for the sake of rockstardom. dipping in yesteryears bar for fruity seemingly innocuous drinks and cherry bombs with lauren and matty. finding that whiskey does wonders for shygirl nerves. selling t-shirts and albums hand over fist, all the while losing scrabble ungracefully to max, rapture merchboy extraordinaire. getting ruffled over how young the kids were at that show, a sea of big dyed hair and girlmidriffs and homemade electrofashion and that awkward boy stage where they speak in grunts and noncommittal nods of the head. falling asleep in a hotel room amid snoring and late night drunken boy appearances. san diego: sigh. getting to the place only to jump right back in the van for there were locusts and blood brothers swarming around and they were totally not into what our van was dishing. more young young kids with effed-up cookie cutter haircuts (how can there be so many identical fauxhawk-with-skunk-stripes in the county of san diego?) and feeling quite old when confronted with a well-meaning boy who a)went to my high school, b)graduated seven years after i did, c)didn't feel so weird when feeling a little crushy on him. finding my friend whiskey pulled this sister through the intimidating parts (see locust, see b brothers). finding some of those boys's mean haircuts were actually deceptive and look, they are nice, look, they don't scowl when i sneak backstage to load up on fruit and hummus. finally getting to escape shackles of merch table to watch my boys play from backstage, smiling uncontrollably for a spell. karaoke and drunken bowling at undisclosed meeting spot. not getting to talk to the boys enough but rather settling for hugs and sips of their vodka tonics. max sang a tatu song for karaoke. five to a hotel room and i slept on the floor of the closet, cuddling with a wee safe. falling in love with san diego again and again (1. la posta burrito. 2. the way the ocean's so shiny. 3. rainbow flip flops. 4. running into friends at the record store. 5. gelato. 6. seeing the place with gabe and lauren newyorkeyes.) quick anticlimactic goodbyes to the newyorkboys from the driver's seat of the van, driving lauren to the airport and telling her good luke/josh secrets. driving with owen up up the state of CA, stopping at a motel to find aha it's sunday and conan's not on, driving driving more while ruining our lungs and singing along with bo diddly and deciding we've had just about enough for a while.

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