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2003-06-19 || 5:17 p.m. || fiction or true crime || i saw his face in the bookstore hovering just above the piles of overstock and it wasn't how i'd remembered it; it was much more in focus and his glasses were new and it was all terribly uncomfortable. his girlfriend was there (maybe they're married now?) and i hugged each of them and couldn't stop with the questions. i couldn't stop letting my eyes widen. i felt very hot and dizzy and not sure why, maybe because time has a way of collapsing on itself or i realized i had nothing good to say when asked how i was doing and they weren't nearly as excited to see me as i was to see them. he had no idea how much brain power i've spent imagining where he was and how he was doing and memorizing the pattern of the rug of his bedroom floor. i excused myself to buy my books and had to wait in a very long line, knowing full well they were just behind me wandering aisles and feeling decidedly un-fluttery. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |