2004-11-26 || 8:59 p.m.

|| friday night ||

and also: i don't think i'll be going anywhere tonight. i would very much like to but i don't have a car here and don't know how to drive stick shift and don't know where i would drive if i could. if i could: laguna canyon with the full moon, pacific coast highway where there are people and sound. i would like a whisky. i would like to go to sam's, but back when sam was with his mum and brothers in the enchanted cottage in san clemente. i would like to sit somewhere other than in this house that is so very small, have i told you that? the walls are like playing cards and i can hear my dad and sister shifting in their sits in the living room. watching television. waiting for an acceptable time to go to sleep.
i haven't been out today save the excursion to the movie theater for my dad's birthday (he turned sixty-one. for his sixty-first the four of us sat in a theater full of six-year-olds. i noticed the volume was so low and realized that theater's demographic is ten and under and fifty-five and older) and dinner. i would like to go out. i have had two naps today. i completed four crossword puzzles. i lay under afghans while my cat laverne forgave me for nine years of neglect. i cut my hair a little with tiny scissors made to look like storks. my head feels magnetized to one side because of secret chemical withdrawals.
i would really like to go out.

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