2005-05-13 || 9:38 p.m.

|| toppling ||

i had my first official pre-move freak-out this evening (i would like to promise that i won't write about moving here so much because it really is boring and crabby and no one wants to hear about it, but it is consuming my life! it is taking over my dreams! it is giving me gastric distress, quite frankly! i keep drawing up the calendar in my head trying to coordinate the logistics and work and cleaning and proper bon voyage revelry and really, there just isn't enough time!!! or boxes!!! or suitable transportation!). the earlier crises were but pre-shocks, i now realize, leading to tonight's upset registering a mighty 5.5 on the freak-out scale. i didn't cry, however. scientists are looking into that and can come up with no conclusions other than the likelihood of much more upsets and subsequent aftershocks.
it's all the books that will kill me; i am certain. i filled up 4 boxes in 12 minutes flat, covering only a third of the lot. last night owen said, as kindly as possible, 'you really need to throw some stuff out, jenn,' and i brushed it off taking it as a compliment that he knows me and my packratty inclinations so well.*
do you need a sewing desk? literary magazines from the late nineties? zines from disgruntled teenagers in orange county? acrylic paints that have acquired a questionable consistency? exposed super 8 film? expensive art paper, slightly wrinkled? an electric guitar? a horribly warped accoustic guitar with treacherously high action? broken cameras? children's encyclopedias from the 1960's? vhs copies of adam sandler movies, never been watched by anyone in this house? you can have it. free of charge. i will drive to your house and throw in some chocolate chip cookies and old lady hankies, exhumed from a chicago basement at a point in time when i thought it a brilliant idea to horde them.
i am deadly serious.

*i should start another entry to leave the above embarrassment behind, but i want to write about how much i am going to miss my best bosom friend. dear sir, i had the most enchanting time with you last evening and love you intensely

wait. i'm going to start another entry.

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