2005-12-14 || 4:00 p.m.

|| catching up. ||

1. michael is away and the feeling of the apartment is very different when he is gone. i hope he doesn't mind my saying, but it is tea party: party of one for days at a time. i do crave the parties of one, for it provides a time in which i can do What I Want without any judgement or worrying about rubbing up on somebody else's business. examples include baking cookies twice in one week, cutting at my hair a lot, trying old dresses hanging in the dark recesses of my closet, existing on tillamook french vanilla yogurt (fifty cents a cup!) and stir fry red peppers (not together, although i may damn well try it), turning my bedroom into exploded closet, lying on the couch a lot, and watching terrible television while engaging in half-hearted pilates workouts when i should be working on Important Things.

2. i miss meow meow so much it makes me cry to type it. today when i got home i walked out on the cold cold balcony to make a call and the downstairs scaredy cat, who has never given me the time of day before, was curled up in the tightest heat-making way in a corner. outside! so accustomed to his delicate indoor constitution! he wouldn't move due to my imposing presence until finally i sweet-talked him and petted his dear little head. i dare say he nuzzled me back, which he would never admit to you, but i was passport back to heat and food. he likes the under the ear by the cheek scratch meowsy did, and i totally burst out crying when he let me do it.

it freaked him the hell out.

but he sat with me while i composed myself and we went inside together. i thought of enticing him with food to hang out with me, but i am not quite ready to get into crazy cat lady level: abduction.

3. i really love indoor heat. this is the first place i have ever lived in that has proper functioning heat, and it is the most luxurious of mod cons. this morning i woke up being able to see my breath (i turned it off last night feeling guilty), so i ran out to the living room to turn it on and ran back under the covers to warm up. it rumbled! it blew! oh fantastic warmth, that allows me to walk barefoot to the bathroom and undress in comfortable temperatures, i salute you.

4. i had to work early today and decided to drive. my car was covered in frost-ice. i have never seen my car covered in frost-ice. i watched other people walking to their cars encountering this frost-ice, and they revved their engines and waited. they got out of their running cars and went back inside. they brought jugs of warm water to pour on the frost-ice. i was a little unsure about joining the ranks of the bleary-eyed defrosting, sitting in my car with the california plates, but it all worked out.

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