2006-09-04 || 3:01 p.m.

|| labor day ||

when i get overwhelmed everything turns two-dimensional. i do things for the sake of starring in an interesting movie. i wear a fancy dress to breakfast. we sit with amelia at a cafe and eat our prop toast and sip at coffee in mismatched cups. we stop our monologues to tilt our faces toward open windows for flattering close-ups. when we get home laverne wraps herself around my leg and the word "meow" floats on cue from her mouth. michael leaves and i put on a record. i sit at my desk and crack my knuckles before i pretend to start writing. i get up to lean against the counter in the kitchen to appear as though i am thinking of something very important. i don't feel anything. i forget my lines.

outside i sit on the balcony and take note of the signs that summer is ending. the grass is brown. a telephone wire has fallen from the pole two doors down and cuts our street in half. two boys walk down the street wearing white-rimmed sunglasses and jeans. my heart beats very fast but i couldn't tell you why.

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