2000-09-28 || 18:09:15

|| first entry ||

there are some times when i want to write all day... and it always happens when i'm at work or driving over the bay bridge or walking home... and it's happening now and i'm so very excited to be able to do something about it. because the things i think of that i promise to write the minute i get home never sound as good once i've tried my darndest to relate them onto paper. like they have a touchy expiration date and the words get to be a little stale and dusty once i get the chance to recount them. so it's nice to think these words are fresh and alive and not the least bit tattered from sloshing around in my brain for too long.

this is my first entry. katherinhand comes from katherine hand, who is my great-grandmother. i always loved that name and i'm a bit put out that her name turns out to be 13 letters long and i'm only allowed 12 for my username. and i'm hoping she starts with a *k*, not a *c*. psychic powers are telling me k. she died by the time i was 2 but dad says i look like her and i can vaguely remember sitting on a blanket with her under the pine tree in the backyard when i was tiny. i've seen pictures of her when she was my age and it's heartbreaking... how there are all these decades and wars and evolutions between us... but i can so easily climb into one of those pictures and relate to her. it's in the way she poses with her friends and lies on a towel at the beach and stares into the camera. we could be sisters.

i stole 5 pictures of my mom over the weekend when i went home to visit. she's the same age as well, and i can do the same with her... jump in and stand in grandma's bathroom while we dye our hair or pose for cheesy pictures at the science and industries museum in chicago. smile with our cheeks flushed from the cold on the campus of little company of mary. i think we would be great friends.

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