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2000-11-20 || 17:28:01 || october 1, 1987: dear diary, today i start my new image. || calvin and beck are singing such lovely songs to me right now here at work. they're hiding in my computer speakers. on saturday my brother jason papercuts performed on KALX radio and i got to go with him. i was way too excited i think for the occasion, but we got to hang around the station for three hours, sitting on the couch chatting up the dj, picking out the music he would play (!! we wanted beat happening and this early elvis reel, but they had been played recently.. we decided on nico as a form of torture and talking heads and miles davis), julie and i standing in the corners as they sound checked and got everything ready. jason played for a half hour and was marvelous. after that he went in the studio to have a bit of an on-air interview with the dj (also named jason, whom i have a starstruck crush on) and i got to sit next to him AND at the very end they remembered i was sitting on the floor and they asked if i wanted to say anything and i freaked out and said, no joke: 'hellloooooooo everybody! i'm on the radio!' like a blooming idiot. but then i recovered and we talked a bit and i was applauded for being a tried and true KALX fan. it was downright lovely, and on the way home i told jason how happy i am with being friend of rockstar status, what with the guitar lugging and blushing at deejays, it suits me just fine. the rest of the weekend was full of julie, my oldest friend (we've been best friends since we were 5.. and i hadn't seen her in almost two years.. and it's amazing with relationships like that where you don't see each other much but when you do everything dissolves and you are reduced to giggling nine-year olds, tickling each other under the covers.) who was visiting from los angeles. we read my diaries from when i was seven and talked about who was married (she is) and what we are doing with ourselves (she is teaching second grade in inglewood and getting her master's at ucla, i am living alone in the east bay working at a software company with no good excuses about my life to give julie's mother when i visit her family over thanksgiving.). it was great fun, nine-year olds disguised as twenty-four year olds getting shitty at bars and shopping at the haight and taking photo booth pictures at musee mechanique, but it left me feeling outside myself.. spending all weekend trying to figure out what kind of person i am and what kind of person she is and where i am in my life and where she is in her life. and right now i am in a funny funny place, particularly at this moment, with all these storms thundering and lightning around me. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |