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2001-02-14 || 11:54 || valentine oh valentine. || valentine's day past and present: 1985: i buy muppets valentines at the sav-on with my own money. i am wearing a red corduroy jumper and turtleneck with pink and red hearts. damien cook brings me red roses, which my teacher mrs. larkey mistakes for her own. he puts them on my desk and i blush so bad that mrs. larkey announces to the class that i have turned as red as my jumper. i curse damien cook and consider hiding under my desk. 1986: my mom says i have to give out valentines to everyone in my class to be fair but i don't want to give one to bradley fulton because he is my archnemesis and calls me ski slope nose. i write a mean message on his valentine, something about how my mom made me send him one, and feel really bad when i open the one he sent me, which reads in fourth-grade pointy handwriting 'you are a real sweatheart (sic). love, brad.' 1988: i am in love with isaac abraham. i am placing the valentine i made for him in the pink construction paper-milk carton mail box at the front of the classroom and feeling so nervous i want to throw up. he doesn't send me one. 1998: i go to mission grounds on 16th street with my first real-live crazy-about live-in boyfriend, m. we fight about something. i move my home fries around on my plate and do not look forward to the walk back down valencia street. (but for the record there were other valentine's days that were rather nice. and now i feel bad about writing about a not-very-nice one. ack.) 2000: i spend all night making a valentine for j. the first one i make looks too 'mormon' according to my roommate. i make another: over fifty hearts torn from magazine pages and bound with embroidery thread with a secret message written on them. i give it to him at work and he has that 'oh shit i didn't get you anything' look on his face. at the end of the day he hands me a heart-shaped box of chocolates bought from the grocery store down the street and we walk to his bus stop. he smokes me out in the alley and gets on his bus and goes home. 2001: i am waiting to race home to make dessert, trying to figure out if i should dress up, ready to box up this year's valentine (wood. and paint. and wire. and nails. and secret messages i have painted over because they are all very corny. and if you are reading this, c.b., please pretend you haven't. and please don't be disappointed by the actual result.) and hand it over to the boy who is rather qualified to have my heart. this will be a good one, i think. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |