2001-03-06 || 11:34

|| i, claustrophobe. ||

i suffer from a slight case of claustrophobia. not the bad can't be in a room hyperventilatey kind. just sometimes. underwater with a snorkel. tube slides at water parks. caught under the covers. under the bay in a bart train full of people and pumped heat. when the white stripes are playing to a billion people crammed in the bottom of the hill and i have to run out on the patio and check the walls for a good foothold to swing myself over and outta that place. those are the times i have hyperventilated or fainted.

but i don't have the bad kind. not like my dad's friend crazy larry who has to be in the direct path of an open door when he is indoors. or my film instructor toney who has been rumored to not be able to cross any of the bridges on his guerneville - san francisco commute.

i just get the feeling sometimes that my lungs aren't working properly. or the oxygen molecules have been taken away. or i am breathing cotton. or i have forgotten how to breathe altogether. and i get superconscious of breathing. inhale exhale. chest puffs up. chest caves in. chest collapses and i am gasping, full of holes, a fish out of water made of swiss cheese.

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