2001-07-31 || 4:53 p.m.

|| winter vs. summer, depending on the construction paper cut-out. ||

i am just going to pretend that it's because it's summer? and summer has always been rather crummy. today i walked to a grassy patch far from work and smelled chlorine. or not just chlorine: being five in a bathing suit that is dangerously close from shredding into nothing. having a towel twice the size of your body. dad waiting for us on the cement deck wearing navy blue vans and corduroy shorts. otter pops and hot vinyl car interiors. and walking up the sidewalk in berkeley wearing a coat and pants and a ridiculous haircut, full of mean looks and inexplicable aches and pains, i tmade me so sad to think about how the seasons so easily lose meaning when you grow up. no vacations and breaks and back to school shopping sprees to punctuate them. no construction paper leaves and jack-o-lanterns and hearts and snowflakes. instead bills and insurance notices and car insurance forms and newsweek. and they come all year round.

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