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2001-08-07 || 1:51 p.m. || aversion therapy || i would kind of like to speed things up. skip the month of august, maybe september as well, entirely. i hope that would stop the spotty sleep patterns and disagreeable stomach and hormones in terrible withdrawal (i am a sixteen year old boy. i am having dreams of backseats of cars and airplane restrooms and one hand on wall, firmly. i am making bad decisions, feeling my head a bit loose from the rest of me, calling late at night with conspiratorial plans. i am making lists of possible victims. i don't flinch at the sleaziness.). the constant motion, all days filled up. the mass consumption of records and books, words words words spinning arcing drifting back down onto the carpet like cat hair, filling up forgotten spaces behind desk, atop shelves, in open boxes. the aversion to airports. the aversion to the harrison/oakland exit. the aversion to brennan's and lake sonoma and johnny cash duets sung in the car. casios. the albany twin. the clutching at empty space. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |