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2001-08-17 || 3:05 p.m. || it was bound to happen sooner or later. || i don't know how you feel about me talking about this. but. i tell time by my periods. last month i was in a pick-up truck crampety perched between michael and muffie in the front seat on a highway connecting oregon to washington. we were heading to olympia and muffie was teaching me to knit with beautiful yellow yarn. we listened to michael's 'girl talk' tape and talked about tampons and portland boys and bad bad jokes and yo yo a go go (hallo muffie. xoxoxxo), the insides churning away, asking for more pamprin. please. i was wearing a green sweater. i was glad i was not pregnant. it came early today. it hasn't been quite a month. it is the first time it has come early in a very very very long time. it is always a couple of days late, prolonged by catholic sex guilt i think and worries of pregnancy and the body all humming in a slightly irregular fashion from all the sex excitement (although one would think that would kick start it into becoming nice and regular, a well-oiled ((ha.)) machine.). a month after and i am a different girl. today i am a bit lighter from the chunk of heart that was surgically removed and the effects of the heartbreak diet. today i feel like this body is completely mine again. i am not sharing it with anybody. no apologies late at night under covers. it feels like it is bleeding in a healing type way. opening up and closing again and keeping on, cycle undisturbed. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |