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2001-08-22 || 5:14 p.m. || xray vision || (incidentally it is my one month anniversary of dumpedness. yahooie.) i was on the bus yesterday thinking about when i was going out with the boy he decided not to read my diaryland diary. because it made him feel uncomfortable and he didn't like learning about me from this page rather than me in person. i think that is what he said. but i was thinking: how do i know he wasn't reading it? (i don't think he was.) and what if he starts reading it now? and i don't mind in the least if he does, hello chris, it is just that he hasn't been a part of the collective group of people i imagine are reading this when i write. and i wonder if that will change my voice at all. i am influenced by all kinds of different things. aline reading this. michael reading this. the threat of my parents finding this (so silly. but i am still afraid of being found out. in a sixteen year old way. smoking and sex and staying out too late at night i guess. i was the squarest teenage square so it has taken a bit for me to catch up.). the people who know what i look like and how i talk and have the advantage of shared reality. it is so so strange. that you might not know what i look like. that i might be making this all up. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |