2001-09-13 || 9:21 a.m.

|| oh shit ||

the same footage over and over and now there are pictures, now there are stunned family members, visibly shaking, recounting cell phone conversations from crashing planes. last night: two kids about my age putting up missing posters of their father, an employee on the 100th floor of the wtc. the brother is looking straight into the camera telling his dad to come home. his sister is beside him crying uncontrollably.

so i am watching antiques roadshow. i am watching spanish soap operas. i am watching my video tape copy of 9 to 5 but have to stop every once in a while because the tension is too much: violet putting rat poison in mr. grant's coffee, dora lee tying mr. grant up with telephone wire.

oh. and now we're getting evacuated for a bomb threat.

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