2001-12-04 || 1:34 p.m.

|| an exercise in self pity ||

there is a magnetic plate in my head that attracts wayward soccer balls and bird shit.

i have big feet for a lady.

i draw secret comics of my favorite office supplies when the network is down and fax them to love interests who do not appreciate my brilliance.

my hair is sticking up in funny places.

i shouldn't have worn these pants.

the two women who ride my bus sometimes and discuss anthropology and cultural theories at great length invariably sit behind me on the way to work and talk talk talk until i feel very uneducated and. dumb. and i tell myself i shouldn't hate them just because they are rather intelligent and use words i have never heard of, although it's all right to remind myself that i have better fashion sense and hairstyles.

i have the proven ability to go from zero to heartbreak in one hour.

these socks won't stay up.

i think i have pink eye.

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