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2002-01-03 || 1:57 p.m. || christmas 1980 || there is this tape that my sister and i steal back and forth back and forth. to listen to in the now defunct mighty max and in old stereos and in my room at night when i want to start crying. a part of it is on my outgoing message right now and i'll level with you. sometimes at work i call my number to listen to it and hang up. just to hear it and feel the twinge. the tape is a recording my dad made of christmas when i think i was 4 and kelly was 2. before we had video cameras. maybe when dad was still fishing for a living. side a is sea shanties (very dad to have a tape of sea shanties.). side b is continual rustling of paper and kelly's baby voice and my whining and mom and dad's over-enthusiastic oh boys and oh yeahs and lookit, daddy! a spatula from kelly! it fucking breaks my heart, the way kelly repeats everything i say in that little voice, how young my parents sound, the fact that really happened- the four of us in the living room never ever dreaming we'd end up where we are today. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |