2002-01-09 || 9:18 p.m.

|| lying down. ||

my mum thinks i am a terrible liar. she accepts this and is amused by it. in the same way she accepts that i can't cook. i cut my own hair and end up with the hairstyles she had when she was my age. i dress like auntie nadju. i cry at tv.

but i think i am a pretty good liar. when i need to be.

or it isn't that i am a good liar. it's more just the fact that i do lie. but usually only to strangers. because for some reason it is important not to disappoint the strangers.

i compulsively lie to doctors and dentists and mechanics

yes i use protection every time and

no i don't smoke. i quit a few months ago and

yes i floss regularly and

oh i think that warning light came on sometime just last week i'm not sure though and

maybe it's obvious. but they still nod and take my money and it all turns out the same way.

i lie to myself. i am lying to you.

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