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2002-04-29 || 8:59 p.m. || long distance disconnection || it's such a terrible feeling when something bad happens to someone you love. and all the meaning bleeds from all the words you're used to offering. and your heart has a tear in it because it's so frustrating. and you want to somehow take the pain away, and you think long hard hugs might do something, some sort of transfer even, but physics doesn't allow for what you really wish you could do. to make it a little better. and he's far far away. i was at work and he was standing in rain. and i was so excited to hear from him i was throwing sentences through phone lines and cutting his words into pieces. and he mentioned his dad and the clicks and hisses changed and. i'm sorry are stupid words when all you want to do is wrap your arms around someone who's thousands and thousands of miles away standing in the rain at a public phone. he wasn't close to his dad. he didn't talk to his dad. he apologized for making me sad at work. and all i have to draw from is my feelings for my dad, the center of my universe, so i can't at all understand how he must feel. hearing about his father second-hand after the fact. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |