2002-05-12 || 4:39 p.m.

|| 2002 vs. 1989. lines blurring spectacularly. ||

yesterday in a backyard in santa cruz. in a fancy dress and corsage drinking beer from brown bottles and eating hot dogs. cupcakes and tin foil. cigarettes and lighter fluid. we sat on a couch in the kitchen and fidgeted with the hems of our dresses and conspired. girls vs boys in a junior high dance type way. the amps were turned on and the lights were turned down and there were candles and bleeding paper hearts affixed to the ceiling with tacks and twine (valentine's day party three months late. hence fancy dress and corsage. hence rosy cheeks and blushing and paper hearts made to look like they had taken bullets. hence toeing the line boy vs. girl no direct eye contact, lots of alcohol). sitting indian style on the floor, camera in lap, watching the boy with the tough guitar stance sing into a microphone in a living room (mantelpiece fireplace goonies on video. poster of michael jackson with a pink heart over his crotch.). between sets we piled on couches, winced at room temperature vodka unceremoniously taken out of my bag. we took pictures posing at the drum set, behind the microphone, with painted lips, with wilting flowers. we sat in corners for the next band, plugging our ears, hollering at the more deafening drum solos.

it got dark. we shivered in the backyard. we felt woozy from the hotdogs and vodka and all the valentine junior high brand of tension. we drove twisty roads home, dresses crumpled, corsages dying, listening to the cure tape i bought in 1989, in junior high.

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