2002-05-20 || 6:20 p.m.

|| owen and mickey rooney and something about suppression but a very nice weekend. ||

owen left today. we got up early and sat on the front steps of the apartment building waiting for paul to pick him up. we smoked our one-thousandth cigarette. we watched early morning commuters and my favorite bus driver and fast moving clouds go about their monday without me. p showed up and we loaded the equipment and there was hugs and good lucks and then they were gone. and i was alone.

and this is about to get very melodramatic.

not it won't.but i had a spectacular weekend. saturday: o and i woke up to meet joe and brian at the uc cafe. terrible food and weak coffee and the regular laughing fits that made heads turn at nearby booths. the four of us driving to the musee mechanique for the best photo booth pictures ever (i will try very hard to post them. i will sweet talk that scanner and see what happens.). ice cream and singing loud with the windows down. then o and i had our long life ritual dinner with paul and jamie. there was a lot of me hiding behind my teacup as those boys talked music. they're all in relatively successful bands. they're all well-versed in post-production and publicity and breaking down music to a mathematical equation. which is very strange. which makes me very quiet. but it was entertaining. interesting. then we went to a show that had like forty bands playing = torture. (but i saw kirsten, wheee.) there was a lot of smoking outside and comparing contortionist ballet moves and cloves and heartbreak stories and very loud not very good music. clamoring to keep the silence out, owen and reassuring pats on the back and 'are you okay, kid?' and making me laugh constantly. drowning out the sad parts with a coupla gin gimlets. collapsing into bed.

sunday: we had the schedule down to the minute. load up car. drive in rain (in rain.) to berkeley campus to drop in on jeff's radio show. talked and talked and talked on air, about our fabulous saturday and o's record and tours and beat happening and i am sure it was terribly obnoxious but it was so much fun. i love being the sidekick. i love turning to o and saying 'but i'm the gracie to your george! the abbott to your costello! the judy garland to your mickey rooney, o, let's make up a song about it!' it was very fun. at two we shuttled over to brook's for her soggy barbeque birthday. sangria and vegan chocolate mousse and the most charming dog ever. standing in the landings barbequing vegetables recounting my break-up story. a lot of head shaking and 'oh jenny' and hugs. sitting on the couch with some sassy kids. getting drunk at three pee em and giggling. feeling very good about the friends i have. then. then having to cut it short to get over to the city. o and i singing weezer very loudly in the car all the way to jon and amy's house. getting to see freshly finished 'scum rock' with nine of owen's songs on the soundtrack. squealing uncontrollably at seeing matt on screen. and joe. and amy. and jon in a bathtub. a movie! made with people i know! and then talking with the fabulous ones in their enchanted apartment. wanting to ask if they'll adopt me. oh, those ones. so great. saying goodbyes in their kitchen, goodbye peonies and funny grandma baking smell, goodbye to the two nicest creativist happenin people ever. then. gawd. and then and then (there were headaches, mind you. running out of cigarettes to start in on the cloves. no real square meals to speak of. getting tired. complaining about naps and not being able to go to el farolito. we were in good spirits, but this jam-packed action. hard on the joints and head, hmm.) and then to kimo's for the show. owen and nate denver interviewing each other for george's cable access show or something like that. laughing off-camera at the way they shrunk down to eight year olds. katie played. and then a lot of people showed up, hooray (name drop drop joe and alene and seana and j s david heather lynn ((elka, i got your letter. it was beeeautiful. thank you.)) and oh. lots. and it was nice. nate denver played and then o played. and last night was the first night i really realized how fucking sad casiotone songs are. heartbreakingly so. and every one of them hurt. a lot. and i was sitting at my table thinking ow. ow. and then all the parts i had been trying to keep down started bubbling up the surface. wanting to hide out to cry a bit. but. he played a great set. and i got into a terrible mood. and then we drove home.

he is a very special boy, that o. i am sorry i hogged him all weekend, everybody. but he is a very good antedote to bad things.

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