2002-07-15 || 10:43 a.m.

|| the best tangle of words i have ever gotten. ||

"this weekend was totally breakneck crazy busy wonderful magical and important. so many people doing so many beautiful things and saying important things and creativity busting at the seems. people making art in every corner. so inspiring. so magical. oh. and i was there. amongst them. leading them. one of the them. no longer a fan. a producer of things. of ideas and discourse. so great! oh! and i taught 2 classes. was all butterflies and trembling hands, but people

were caught in my performance. awkward instruction. mistakes and wits and jokes told. people oohing and ahhing like an infomercial. so great. and speaking with people. with wonderfully geeky and creative zine people. hundreds of them. coming to me for advice. to

ask questions like i had the answers. i felt so important. and kelly w was there and me and nicole had our booth next to her. she spoke on a panel on woman and zines. she represented riot grrl and was an elder statesman. she, in case you did not know this, is an important person in the world of zines. you remember her right? right. and my

friend brad sat with his arm around me, left and led a group of fifty people to create an instant art show. people taking over a room, turning chairs on end, creating an art gallery. in one hour. so spectacular.

such love and support. a family of four hundred. i am still reeling. calvin f#ing johnson teaching a class on the history of zines. his baritone booming through the hallways while i am teaching two rooms over. to go from admirer/fan to peer. humbling.

oh i can't say enough. not a breath of rest. constant movement and talking. i still like i have schizophrenia. like there are dozens of voices

whispering in my ears.

and all the while. the one that i look to was not there. you would have been moved by the movement. there is no way you could not. i know the creative gems that lay inside your cartelidge, in the nooks and

dark places, hanging onto platelets and blood cells like inner tubes. i know your potential. and i know that it is a light so bright that anything i do is paled in comparison. so so so. do it. draw inspiration

though my words and love. because i know you."

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