2002-07-27 || 1:13 a.m.

|| o my friendlies. ||

i love the feeling of loving friends to death. thinking of them and the things they have said while walking alone on sidewalk. composing letters and fancy postcards that will never see permanence in words. i love my friends wholeheartedly.

and there are some. that break my heart eighteen ways. last night owen was in town and played a show and it was as if he had a halo over his head, that one. getting to stand in fog on a street corner lighting each other's cigarettes and hugging haphazardly, mid-sentence, watching buses go by. lovely.

i would like to catalogue all the people i deeply love right here right now but that is quite a daunting task.

but seeing owen. wondrous. i love him. he's a flower.

and tonight i got to see my scott while his lady is away for her bachelorette party. we sat at his kitchen table and he showed off the plates my mum and dad gave them for their shower. we talked and talked. he played me music he was excited about. we walked up judah and ate at celia's. we were drunk in the 7-11 parking lot and i promised to split all my potential winnings from the lottery ticket he bought me. we finished a pack of cigarettes in his kitchen and he took a picture of me sitting at the window with coat and striped scarf.

i don't get to see them enough. i have this urge to pick through my pockets and offer something. this is me and i want you to have it. i want you to carry it around the way i carry you and i want us to stay fixed on this comfy friend orbit forever and ever.

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