2002-09-20 || 10:14 a.m.
|| my hero! my heart! my redheaded wonder lady! ||
lynda! barry! is the lady of my dreams!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! !
oh. good heavens. so. oh. so she talked last night? and there wasn't a door to make a grand entrance, so she just kind of hid behind a book shelf for a minute and then popped out? and. i love her! and she sang songs and danced around and said the most inspitrational things about how everybody should write and draw and just do it, man, there's no reason not to. and she says 'man' and 'dig' and 'down with the man!' while pumping her fist into the air. she is spectacular! and i kept crying! and she is just so silly and wondrous and absolutely perfect.
i have plans for a shrine.
and she ended with singing 'you are my sunshine' with her mouth closed (!) and that just ruined me. i wept and wept and was just like 'god has landed in this bookstore and she is a little spazzy redheaded lady who nervously pushes up her glasses three times a minute.'
i love her. love her!
and then she signed books. and it took an hour and a half in line. and i was dead nervous, seeing as she is god and all, and i got to her and she shook my hand with both of hers. and i said 'lynda barry, i have a present for you. i wanted to make you something but i didn't have time so i want to give you my favorite plastic horse. his name is charlie.' and she took it and she said 'chaaaaarlie!! oh i love him! i have a plastic horse collection so he will be part of a very big herd.' and i said 'i have a horse collection too!!' and we talked about our effing horse collections! and it made me cry because i was just like 'effing lynda barry has an effing horse collection! can it be nothing less than perfect?' and she notices i am freaking out just a little and she says 'are you sure you want to give him to me?' and i say 'yes. we had a talk and it will be all right.' and she assures me he will have a great home, all the while petting my dear charlie. and THEN she sticks charlie horse in her bra between her boobs (!) and starts shaking her chest saying 'i'm chaaarlie! check me out!' oh my goodness. and i was dying. and em. crying just a little bit. and then we waved goodbye.
and we got outside i cried all over again (oh, the lady parts are pumping the weepy chemicals like crazy!) and said 'it's like meeting the effing queen mum!'
and now. i have one purpose in life. and that is to serve the righteousness of lynda barry. love her. very much.
(and the weird thing is i am still thinking of my charlie horse. i think i shall write him a letter.)
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