2002-12-11 || 4:16 p.m.

|| the case of the miniature meter maid ||

yesterday while getting in my car i noticed something tucked under the windshield wiper. a closer look and i found that it was one of those tiny figurines for model trains? do you know what i'm talking about? it was a meter maid. less than an inch tall.

and the thing is. i love those figurines. i have a scuba diver and a fat lady with a poodle and there is a light box in a bedroom in oakland complete with two of those figurines: a red-headed lady in a pencil skirt with the initials j.h. and a tall blond heartbreaking man perpetually on a hill, with a portentious note in my handwriting on the back.

so i was very excited. a) because it was the loveliest tiny meter maid, one which becky said will stave off parking misfortune for the rest of maybonne-the-ford-escort's days, and b) it was a secret anonymous present tucked under my wiper. as in. i have an admirer. as in. there is something true about brian's promise of setting in action the good romance karma when i tucked that note under the grey's wiper a while back.

so. i was perplexed. and excited. and dying to find out who did it.

and we drove and drove. and i held the little lady in my hand while making left-hand turns and changing lanes, imagining several mysterious terribly romantic very hott windshield wiper exchanges. i was composing letters. i was planning next moves. i was ready to practice my very best suggestive sexxxy handwriting.

we got home. i left the meter maid in the car because i decided i would glue her tiny matronly sensible high heels to the dashboard. we told brian all about it. we were sitting on the front porch and i was trying to figure it all out. pointing fingers and developing motives and letting my heart beat a little faster at the thought of it all, and then brian yelled: 'i can't stand it anymore! i did it! i was going to give it to you at work but i saw your car!'

ahem.

and the heart settled back into place. and i crossed out the lines and lines of possible scenarios in my head. brian made us red velvet cupcakes so all was right again. although i can't help feeling very much like jan in that one episode of the brady bunch where alice starts sending her anonymous love letters because she thinks it will make jan feel a bit better about herself.

but brian! you are my favorite alice and i thank you for your love and meter maids!

harumph.

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