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2003-05-24 || 3:08 p.m. || one two three. || all kinds of things to write about but they don't fit together so nicely. they don't fit together at all. this week has been dominated by a lightning strike that i haven't been able to write about. i've tried and tried but have weird feelings about wrapping it up in a diaryland entry. i feel weird about who might read it, if he might read it. but. with that said i guess. we found out this week a dear friend has cancer in his brain. we visited him the other night and it actually made me feel quite a bit better. he's still the same boy and seems to have a great outlook and is surrounded by gangs and gangs of people who love him. but it's like this very involved equation that doesn't add up. you look at it and look at it but it doesn't make sense. to put a self-centered spin on things, no one i love has been struck by this kind of lightning before. there have been distant relatives and friends of friends and friends of parents, but no one i see on a semi-regular basis, no one whom i care deeply about. maybe i'm still riding on the invincibility comet or have a hard time realizing very bad things happen to very good people, brilliant and lively and incredibly loved people. it's very naive and stupid, but. it's very scary. and shocking. and i feel selfish writing this, poor me my friend is sick i'm going to write about it on my internet diary, when what i should be focusing on is him getting better and somehow being there to help if he ever needs it. i don't know how appropriate my being a blubbery mess is, so far removed from the actual issue, as i am healthy and i am way over here and i am too scared to call him i think because i don't know what i can do. and i can't write much more about that because it's just going in circles. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |