2003-07-05 || 7:24 p.m.

|| sunrise sunset ||

i imagine this day will be wasted. i am lying around feeling very tired from last night and very foggy-headed from day one of quitting smoking and this blanket smells like anthony, who slept under it wedged between my bed and dresser last night. there was a surprise party for me last night. kelly took me on errands and proceeded to keep me out of the house while friends were ushered in and streamers were put up and green frosting was applied to a red velvet cake in the shape of a turtle. i had no idea. i walked into the kitchen and it was full of people and drinks and colors. i had no idea. there was dancing and blended drinks and kelly in a terry cloth jumper (strapless with short shorts; i'll show you the pictures) and several people incredulous she's my sister. there was a hand sister blueberry pie fight thanks to one joe, getting way high to properly view fireworks from the back porch, holding philosophical discussions in the kitchen with highly-intoxicated persons regarding my ill-fated love affair (there were three phone calls back and forth to new york throughout the party last night, each more and more unintelligible), ouija games played with the board precariously perched on kelly's ass. kelly and brian performed a brilliant rendition of 'carry on my wayward son.' i smoked my last cigarette hopefully ever. anthony threw up all over the myer lemon tree.

it was perfect.

i really would like a cigarette.

there is blueberry mashed into the kitchen floor.

i am twenty-seven and really don't mind a-tall.

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