2003-08-11 || 12:08 a.m.

|| this is kelly. it is late. ||

it is midnight and i finally feel like going outside to start my day, except it is night and i wouldnt be able to see anything and i'd be afraid that whoever broke into my truck two nights ago would be walking around preparing to scare me. and i wouldnt be able to defend myself because he stole my only weapon, my leatherman and i can think of no worse way to die than by the pliers of my own leatherman, the one thing that has saved me from having to sit down and cry everytime something goes wrong in my life because it really can fix just about anything.

my two cats are taking turns running and sliding down my very long hardwood hallway. sometimes i put on socks and join them and we end up in a giggly pile of kelly and kitties at my roommates door, but tonight my roommates are home and i dont think they'd be happy to wake up to me careening into their room in the middle of the night. i am feeling kind of icky right now. the kind where i have dreams that i am treading water or stuck walking through sap. i have no job and the moneys running out and im not sure if i feel like taking on any biology adventure at this particular moment but the thought of a real job still makes my stomach lurch. all i want to do is build a log cabin somewhere that is full of trees and close to ice cream and find a lovely boy to help me chop wood and go on adventures with. did you know you can build your own log cabin for less than $5000? i am saving up.

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