2003-11-06 || 10:05 p.m.

|| the dragon lady hand ||

note to self:

do not call your mother when having the life crises. she is not sympathetic to such things and will only halfheartedly threaten to 'come up and kick your ass' and will underscore the point by repeating this with receiver in hand to your father, who is most likely not listening and watching something science fiction in nature on the tv. do not jokingly say you should just throw the ambition towel in and get married and have kids because your mother, oh that lady, will shout 'eharmony.com!! eharmony.com!!! i get mail for it all the time! it's the best dating site on the web!'

do not ask your mother what she did wrong in raising you to end up like this. do not give her your best mummy impression of 'why do you keep calling me, jenny? get a life' because she'll only laugh that evil ma laugh and agree.

do not let on you are excited to see her next week even though she is counting the days to the hour, drafting possible menus, and practicing looks of disapproval when you inevitably don't spend time with her for the call of the oc friends, because she will deny any excitement on her part and shout 'good-bye, jennifer' into the phone until you hang up.

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