2004-07-04 || 11:40 p.m.

|| ask me about the ghost unicorn!! !! ! ||

today i am 28. there was a picture taken at approximately 3:28 am in the bathroom to document my newfound 28ness (drunk. greazy hair. flash popping light in the mirror.) but i am without the technological faculties here on chris's bed (lying down while typing diaryland entry on wireless laptop whoa) at the moment and must arrange it all later. last night was the wildest southern california party and this morning while recounting the state of couch outdoors cigarette butts beer cans as far as the eye can see, owen and i decided that kind of party can never happen in the bay area. perhaps it's the weather. southern california parties equal flip flops and t-shirts and coors light and reefer and haircuts and wrestling and some sort of something on fire. grass stains on knees and beer puddles in the kitchen and cake frosting on cabinet doors and a three-band show that has the deaf lady next door complaining that she cannot sleep because of the vibrations. northern california parties equal lots of sweaters and glasses and sitting down during the bands. homemade baked goods and board games and magicians (see notes, july 4, 2000) and hands in laps and pulling fruit from the trees in the backyard to eat while standing on the front porch.

however.

this morning after finding that the four-hour long attempt to sleep was not working, i drove to my parents house to see them on my birthday for the first time in 8 years. my dad made me breakfast and my mum pulled grapes from dad's backyard grapevine and they watched me eat while sitting in the patio. we watched tv and i fell asleep and they cooked food for their block party. i had to go back to prepare for fourth of july plans so my parents walked me out to the car, the both kissing me goodbye, and i kind of lost it.

i don't know what is was. southern california does it and seeing my parents does it, or seeing my parents and not making it somehow momentous. i see them approximately 7 times a year and i always want there to be heart to hearts over the dinner table or serious hugs or. interaction. but. also the mix of people here. knowing some since age 15 and feeling disappointed that we aren't good friends, that when i waved at them in the dark of chris's yard they didn't recognize me.

tonight we went to gabe's for fireworks. 22 sober boys kicking fireworks and throwing bottle rockets and setting gi joes on fire. i hid behind a palm tree.

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