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2007-06-12 || 3:19 p.m. || and i like the wave that accompanies the horn honking. i like unlocking the door and saying hello, how was your day? || i wrote to j asking for a happy hour date and we fell into the indecision competition of today? or thursday? and wherever you want, the kind of thing that happens to people who feel it's important to always be nice and accommodating and flexible. who say i'm sorry for the weather and not saying the right thing and showing up at whatever bar on whatever day five minutes after the appointed time. i offered to pick her up from work, thinking it was funny but realizing i really wanted to. braving traffic to stop at a parking lot to wait, feeling like a mom or in high school or used to that sort of circuit: picking people up. being useful. and nice and accommodating and flexible. spending all day alone does things. it makes you hesitant about going out alone. it makes you wear shoes without plans to use them for walking outside. it makes you read from room to room until you find yourself on the edge of the couch, perched there, kind of uncomfortable but unable to stop at the natural breaks between chapters. i should be learning to sew better. i should be cleaning out the bathroom. i should be writing letters or visiting my mother or looking for a job that involves talking to people, walking in shoes. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |