2000-10-10 || 20:51:26

|| computers ||

i wrote and wrote and wrote an entry today but decided it was kind of stupid. that's the problem with writing at work (besides getting hard looks for being off-task and feeling guilty because underneath it all i am an affirmation-hungry girl scout with quite a harsh conscience on her hands. really. i've learned to push her to the curb sometimes, throw her brownie beanie in the mud, but she's very loud when it comes to the little things.. be a hard worker. don't litter. feel really bad when you don't call yer friends back after saying that ya will. don't make out with boys when you're not willing to tackle the consequences. hey. how did that get in there.). i'm so distracted most of the time that i write nothing good. and after embarking on this diaryland journey i have gotten all mixed up.. i want to write in here all the time and have been neglecting my book diary and haven't followed thorugh on any of the stories i have sworn to start, even after all that business about inspiration and doing what i want to do that knocked me over the head last week.

let me just copy what i wrote and i'll edit out all the vomit-inducing parts and it won't make any sense but that's just a risk i'm gonna have to take here in diaryland.

**okay, so today i have betrayed my paper-clutchin self by having an intense yearning to own a computer. a nice little one i can put in my kitchen and play card games with while i drink tea. one with a nice stephen hawking voice to give me advice while cooking spaghetti sauce.. "well i see your point, hal, but i think a faster isp is really the way to go these days.." ( i know what an isp is! ). oh it's absolutely heartbreaking. i got through four years of college without a computer, for chrissakes. i have 25 books of my writing. i fought my dad to the end when he tried to throw out the encyclopedia brittanica set we spent two years amassing (1981 and 1982) from the von's supermarket on springdale, winking and pointing to the computer next to the three boxes full of those books. i resisted email forever because i knew it would be kryptonite to my letter-writing superpowers.

this computer here at work has somehow sprouted wires through my veins and has set up camp in my spinal cord, roasting marshmallows and sprinkling 1's and 0's throughout my nervous system. making me see in digital. and..and i was watching star trek voyager last night and the borg were lookin kinda hot to me! oy. .....blah blah blah(this is me editing out the dumb stuff i decided not to inflict upon you because it is all so hypocritical, writing in a freaking online diary that i am anti-computer. i'm trying to come to terms i guess. seeing the convenience of having a computer in my kitchen (internet access outside work! email! mp3s! learning how to put some pictures on this page!) and seeing the scariness of it (ugh electronics! lack of human interaction! the call of www.meet-an-inmate.com at 3 in the morning!). ..."all i ask is when i die is to bury me with paper and pen and super 8 film, because those things are tangible and would decompose nicely." i like the last line so i kept it.

previous || next || random

guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land