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2000-10-18 || 15:33:36 || almost calling in sick, or why i am a freak. || driving home last night i hit a lady's car whose license plate holder said 'driver carries no cash/treasures stored in heaven.' just kidding. i just thought it would be funny if i did hit a lady whose license plate holder said that. i really love driving to/from work rather than taking dumb old bart. i'm sure one factor is that driving is still a novelty to me and i'll only have the car for two more months, but i'm in such a better mood driving. i think it has everything to do with being able to listen to music and being above ground. bart has caused too many anxiety attacks way down below the murky depths of the san francisco bay.. if i never have to ride that rip-off tube casket again i would be a happy girl. so right now i think i am resolving to join the huddled horn-honking masses and do my part to clog the bay bridge each morning and night. wheeee. i almost stayed home from work today. example of how neurotic i am: i woke up feeling fine, took a shower, brushed my teeth, was drying my hair when i felt the overwhelming urge to hurl. so i sat down for a little bit and then went through the ritual of figuring out whether to call in sick.. asking myself a battery of questions to determine whether i was really sick, the little red devil me sitting on my left shoulder whispering fuck it! stay home! yer job sucks! you could stay home and rent movies and work on your projects (i'm in the middle of an art project involving paint and wood and oil pastels! it's so exciting!) and have long life for lunch!, working up the nerve to call in. so i called in to my dear friend/supervisor scott and told him what was up, along with "but i'll call you in an hour to see if i feel better and will come in." i always do that. to combat the guilt. and he even said it's okay, don't come in... so i added to my picture and watched ricki lake and lay in bed but felt so guilty i put on my shoes and drove in within an hour and a half of calling in. and now i'm here. at work. (even though i haven't done anything in the past hour that could be categorized as work.) and now i don't feel nauseous anymore but i am so guilty sick even though i came into work. oh dear psychosomatic me. so nutty. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |