|
2000-10-24 || 19:36:41 || michael got abducted by aliens and all i got was this stupid t-shirt. || so my friend was missing. had fallen off the edge of the earth. had been taken captive by sirens in the dead sea. had been swallowed alive by an exotic plant. had died a fiery death on the little road that runs along the bay with no one the wiser. his roommates didn't know where he was, he didn't come home last night, he didn't call his new job like he was supposed to. and once i was let in on the little secret, i flipped. i forgot how i get when it comes to this sort of thing: imagining every terrible scenario, ready to call parents, hospitals, the media. ready to drive furiously across the bridge to inspect the scene of the abduction. figuring out what i had done to cause it. and when i called his house to get more information, to feed the anxiety fire making me all sweaty and heart-fluttery and ready to really start crying, he answered the phone. like he had been sitting there all day. like he just decided to stay over night at a friend's (one i hadn't thought of) and felt like he was enough of an adult to not have to go and tell everybody about it. and i was so mad i almost hung up. i wish i could draw you a diagram of my reaction, or maybe a formula. part classic latch-key kid response (sitting at the window, biting fingernails, imagining mom half way home in the ford on the freeway, on fire); part drama queen (in a terrible devilish unforgivable way hoping for something awful to give me an excuse to sob outright, to get all that rage out that i believe is not there but in reality dusts everything in my head with a fine imperceptible powder, just enough not to be detected until triggered into action); part anxiety sufferer, which chemically changes everything to capital letters and exclamation points (MISSING!!!! DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT!!!) and makes all my regulary scheduled physical functions turn upside down. the last time this happened my parents were in a small car accident less than a mile from our house. when my mum called home to have us come and get them, she immediately told me to put kelly on the phone, having the sense to understand whom she was talking to. and i, fulfilling my role as unstable daughter, started panicking and crying... and now i can imagine poor mom in the rain with her car twisted around a fire hydrant having to calm down her stupid daughter that refused to give over the phone until she explained what had happened. oy. i really pity my future children with the bad luck to end up with a mom like me. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |