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2000-11-10 || 16:28:05 || my bad haircut and why i've been neglecting all the important things. || oh brother. i've been so awful about writing in diaryland. or writing to my sister (who is recording the voices of mice in costa rica! really!). or writing in my notebook. and that is all because of the novel that is growing arms and legs and slowly putting me in a choke hold. python-like. squeezing out everything else.. going out, seeing shows (no cinerama. no miranda july, whom i even marked on my calendar months before. let's talk about miranda july. i have always wanted to see her and her work but keep missing her and she seems like such a lovely bright star. i watched that one part in jesus' son over and over to get a good luck at her. and she has some suspect romantic links to calvin johnson, so the stalker side of myself must see this lady in person, just to get some kind of dose of calvinessence, even if it is second-hand or third-hand or entirely fabricated. and no casiotone and i miss you, owen, and your songs.).. but like i was saying, it is incredible how this wee novel of mine is pushing everything else out. i think of it all day long, pose my characters in my head while crossing the bay bridge, listen to people's conversations to steal and put in my characters' mouths. i come home and hide out and write and write adn don't ever come up for air. i am so stuck inside my little dream world that it is hard to relate to reality. and on top of this i had the worst bout of pms ever this week (which i believe is the gods/karma/my mother's superhuman powers punishing me..'your period was late but you're not pregnant after all so here are the worst damn symptoms we could throw at you, mortal.') i cried in a meeting at work. i cried in front of my computer at work because i felt like i didn't have the energy to act normal. i schemed to play hooky one day this week (although i never went through with it.). i cut all my hair off (which was a three day process. i hadn't cut it since june and i promised myself i wouldn't until after christmas for the sake of pigtails (????) but the other night i got my lucky scissors out and started hackin. and the next night i picked them up again. and last night i had to fix all the spots i messed up on. and there are haystacks of hair (hairstacks?) all over the bathroom floor because i've been too novel-minded to do a good job cleanin up. and i probably would have cried about it if i had. but it's friday and my characters are bored and i think i am going to ignore them all night tonight. they'll just have to find something to do by themselves. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |