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2001-01-17 || 5:55:55 no kidding! || captive pirate in my bedroom. || when i got out of bed this morning (after a good twenty minutes of drifting in and out of sleep with the mornings on 2 news team. i can't stand the weather lady. i know she shops at thrift town. she looks like a mean lady at thrift town. who yanks away the midnight blue coat you are admiring on the rack. even though it wouldn't fit her nearly as dreamily as it would fit you. she'd probably change the buttons on it and you think the buttons are the very best part. she's not going to wear that coat. that is why she is a mean lady. and that is why she never gets any of the traffic controller's jokes.) i ran to the thermostat just to see if there was a new apartment record for morning coldness. fifty-one degrees. which isn't so bad, i guess. i couldn't see my breath or anything. but it made it awful hard to leave my covers and run down the hall to the bathroom. it made me reconsider my decision not to turn on the heater. have i mentioned the heater? it is a steely monster, that is what it is. it is loud and breathes fire, really, and gives the smoke alarm the unshakable impression that the apartment is on fire. even after i wrap it up in a goddamn towel and try to hide it in the bathroom. the heater is a dormant mechanical pirate, and if i give it so much as a pilot light it starts threatening everyone in a three-mile radius with its bad breath and stomach rumblings. my cat has the hiccups. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |