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2001-02-20 || 02:20 on 02-20 || lunch (heart/sky/sidewalk) break. || my feelings are hurt. and i can't remember all the things i am supposed to write on my calendar. i constructed one on a piece of scrap paper and now all those numbers are looking at me, waiting for me to fill them up, and i know there are things but i just can't think of them right now. the future is a bit hazy. a cliff where you can't see quite where it drops off because there is this fog bank right in front of you. and i feel really bad right now. i'm feeling bad about the same thing i always feel bad about. but. today it overflowed onto this bench on telegraph, down the sidewalk, on the corner, and i'm afraid it will leave a terrible stain. two paths of footprints veering off into different directions. that i will have to walk over when i am marching down my designated side of the street in attempt to keep my eyes averted, head down, steps pound pound pound pounding on the cement. syncopation. but instead of my feet feeling like they are stuck three inches below ground so that i am wading through the muck of sticky cement and overturned newspaper kiosks and homeless people's styrofoam cups, i feel like i am hovering just above ground. my stomping is an attempt to make a sound to confirm that i am really there, occupying actual space. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |