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2001-03-12 || 11:26 || to meow meow || dear meow meow, i was thinking of you this morning as i was brushing my teeth. would you like to live with me again? your litter box would go nicely underneath my sink. you could hang out in the bathroom with me while i wash my face at night the way you used to, pretending to hide behind the shower curtain, making just enough noise so that i knew you were there and wanted to play. i could put your bowl in the kitchen and have a nice picture hanging at just cat-level that you could look at while eating your meow mix, maybe a picture of a nice canary or a lion or a meadow somewhere. or a mirror. you always were such a vain cat. it is quiet in my apartment. it isn't nearly as big as where you are now. there is not as much excitement. but i miss sleeping with you and talking to you and feeling incredibly loved whenever i come home. i am afraid you will get lonely. i am gone all day and often times don't come home at night. i am afraid you will punish me with silent treatment and shredding the curtains and peeing in my closet (i know that was you last summer). i love you so much and every time i see you my heart breaks. every time i leave you i feel like such an awful mother. i notice you are still so happy to see me, but i also notice the confusion that is beginning to strike your face when we are in the same room, like you aren't sure how to treat me. like a best friend or like a stranger. i will do anything to make you love me the way i love you. i will get your likeness tattooed on my back. i will bring you home expensive fish and cheese. i will stay home so that you won't get sad or panicky when no one is around. please tell me what you want me to do. love, your mother (one of them. the bad one.) guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |