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2001-05-24 || 2:41 p.m. || your square roots are showing. || forty-one days left of twenty-fourness. i sat in front of the calendar and counted. i am thinking about filling in each of the boxes with something to accomplish before twenty-five. twenty-five. i am such a prime number lady myself, i don't know how i will feel about being square root-able. twenty-five. sounds old and solid and stable. and i am rushing to do something with my twenty-four year old self so that i won't look back and feel disappointed. oh i am going to feel disappointed. i was supposed to have my mfa by now. i was supposed to have written wondrous things. i was supposed to have a lovely catalog of zines and paintings and wee books. i was supposed to feel like i knew what i was doing. twenty-five. i will still be single i will still live alone in the apartment in albany i will be two best friends lighter (they will be in portland the minute my clock ticks twenty-four to twenty-five, happy birthday.) i will still be working here next to the copy machine. but twenty-five doesn't have to be full of the will stills. no, jenny, it doesn't. i can change things. i can fly off the handle fly by the seat of my pants and defy gravity and square-rootable numbers, right? twenty-five could be nice. although it sounds decidedly old. decidedly momentous. at least it is an odd number. i like the odd numbers so much better. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |