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2001-09-03 || 2:18 a.m. || hallo i am in san dieg-o. || sunday: waking up on the floor in my clothes at melissa's beach house in san diego to the sound of waves and snoring. driving with my neenay (xoxo i am so glad i got to see you! you are hot lady!) to kelly's house to fall back asleep and have nightmares. feeling very grown up in a restaurant where my sister picks up the check. clothes shopping and shoe shopping and record shopping and computer shopping- standing in an aisle a little to the side of kelly, a little behind her, as a computer salesman grills her on why she wants a mac. he is staring at her boobs. i want to jump on his toes and run away. driving up and down the freeways 5 8 805 163, oh. watching movies and making cookies and talking to cats alone in the apartment. driving to kell's work and getting very sad in a lonely heartbroken way (note: do not watch romantic movies, especially ones where the protagonist looks like jean paul belmondo. do not listen to sad romantic music in the car in the dark on the concrete tendrils of san diego.). reading and slyly watching the customers at gelatovero. accepting an offer to go upstairs with kell's coworker while he does dishes, even though he asked on a dare to be creepy. smoking cigarettes and telling stories and feeling steeped in that crazy awkwardness/excitement that comes with talking to stranger cute boys that are rather appealing. discovering the upstairs patio that makes me sad michael is not around to sit on the deck and fight and play gin rummy. waiting for kelly and said coworker mike to close the store. reading newspapers and new books and writing secrets in my journal and later wiping down tables and putting up chairs. driving across town to scolari's for karaoke. getting hit on by scary man in a sleeveless (they were cut off.) t-shirt: 'where are you from?' 'oakland.' 'you look irish.' 'oh, i am.' 'you have a very pretty smile.' (awkward pause as i try to signal kelly to help me out). spending the next half hour having a very in depth conversation with sleeveless sean, who is also irish, who has a twin brother, whose parents were 16 and 18 when they had him, who plays both guitar and drums but is afraid of karaoke because he is used to singing back up. refusing drink offers when sean pulls out a 50 dollar bill and waves it around a bit. watching karaoke: sweet home alabama ballroom blitz one way or another i want you to want me billie jean. going outside to smoke after last call to stand around with mike and kelly until the boy who sang billie jean walks to his car, proceeds to have a small conversation with mike ('didn't i see you at the movie theater today? in the bathroom?' 'why? were you looking at my weiner?'), shakes his hand and then somehow ends up kissing him quite passionately for way too long for it to be in any way comfortable. kelly and i marvelling at his crazy luck of meeting strangers on the street and promptly making out. driving back to kelly's apartment, secretly wishing i had more curbside make out sessions, but not with sleeveless men named sean. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |