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2001-09-06 || 11:29 a.m. || back on earth. back to waking up to alarms and riding buses and acting busy for money. || i feel like i was abducted by aliens and brought to a lovely planet of sunshine and blue and airplanes hovering dangerously low and air conditioning and lovely sisters wearing homemade dresses out of sheets and very cute alien boys. and then dropped off unceremoniously without so much as a brief flash in the sky. and now nothing feels right. meow meow was insanely happy to see me, rubbing against legs and sitting on anything i tried to read, sprawling on my lap as i sewed aunt edie's letter together. i keep watching the sky hoping the space craft will come back and transport me again. although there were uncomfortable parts. i always get very moody and uncomfortable when i realize things are coming to a close. i went out to dinner with my parents and sat quietly on the verge of tears. i don't want to go back. i don't want to be lonely and i don't want to be in the same zip code as the boy i pretend to be over but am not. i don't want to make life decisions like should i move? should i go back to school? what the hell am i doing? and my mum kept asking, teasing, 'so jenny, did you make your life decisions?' and talked about me going back to school and moving and i had to interrupt to say 'can we please not talk about this? it is going to make me cry.' and they gave the look they always give. because i say that kind of thing a lot. guestbook || notes || archives || profile || photos || d-land |